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to the management of the pere lachaisse cemetery,    Allow us to introduce ourselves; we are a group of residents pertaining to the estate you manage. We have suffered in silence for years but our patience has finally run out and we hereby declare you unfit for the position of management of our dear Parisian Pere Lachaisse Cemetery.
Not content with bowing down to the whims and demands of visiting outsiders rather than caring for the eternal rest of residents, you have become our most virulent enemy. There are many examples we could give to support this affirmation but one will suffice. The sculpture of the angel at Oscar Wilde’s tomb had it’s penis smashed off and then disappeared, yes the very one that later turned up as a paperweight last seen on your desk. That’s not the reason behind this letter, however. We are fully aware of the tourist importance of our community here. The famous amongst us here attract many visitors. Let it be clear that this letter is in no way an attack on those famous people. In the time they have spent here with us, they have not caused any incidents and there has been no scandalous behaviour whatsoever. Rather, they have integrated into the community in a dignified manner. Nevertheless, we will not leave your dreadfully miserable running of the cemetery go unanswered.
By means of this letter, those of us who lay alongside the famous dead of this cemetery wholly denounce the filth, theft of flowers, the graffiti, the trampling of graves and the noise we are forced to put up with. Furthermore, we denounce your total lack of interest in and your inability to do anything to prevent such despicable events from happening. And please refrain from wheeling out that same old excuse about how the passing of time has a bearing on everything. Our tombs may be old, but they are also dignified. We sincerely hope that these complaints of ours are not just buried here with us,

Au revoire.

Famille Papeil along with the signatures of thirty-five famous dead people neighbors.